Thursday, December 10, 2009

Cutting it off.

"If your hand or your foot gets in the way of God, chop it off and throw it away. You're better off maimed or lame and alive than the proud owners of two hands and two feet, godless in a furnace of eternal fire. And if your eye distracts you from God, pull it out and throw it away. You're better off one-eyed and alive than exercising your twenty-twenty vision from inside the fire of hell."

Oh the harsh, but true words of the bible. Well, The Message in this case. There have been some things in my life that have kept me away from God. Mostly these have come in relationships that I resent. Relationships that end up bringing out the worst in me, rather then the best. While I want to forgive them for their issues, just like I'd want to be forgiven for mine, I also know that if the relationship isn't healthy, it's best to just "cut it off" then to let it sit there, and fester over and over, and start spreading to other parts. To allow them to make me bitter, allow them to hurt me, let them make me angry. It's hard for me to do. I always want things to work out, but I also want to know when to call a loss a loss. I don't want to keep forcing something that isn't there, and I have no desire to try to get someone to like me if they don't. I'm frustrated with the things around me, but I'm generally happy.

I'm growing in the area of not having to kill myself trying to please other people. Of course, that fact has caused me to lose friends because I used to be a "yes girl". Anytime anyone wanted anything from me, I'd say yes. Or when people acted badly towards me, I would just take it. Once I started standing up for myself, and saying "no", or "that won't work", or "that's unreasonable", it was sometimes met with anger, and sometimes met with complete understanding. It has been so freeing for me. I no longer feel obligated to do what I can't do, and it has given me the time to invest in the important things in my life. The relationships that have ended have been unhealthy ones. Ones that were hurting me, ones where I allowed the person to bully me. And my treasured friendships, and relationships got stronger. I wish I had learned the lesson years ago, but I'm happy I'm learning it now. It's still hard, and I still hope that some of those relationship with me (healthfully) restored in time. But for now, I feel better.


Jamie Stavenger said...

I understand completely. I've had to do that with 2 people in my times I felt like relationships with them were unhealthy for me. Miraculously, both have been fully restored. It just took time and prayer. To everything there is a season- I'm learning that God never stops working, even when I've given up. Blessings on the journey, Sarah.

Sarah said...

Thanks Jamie! Glad to hear that things worked out for you! That's encouraging to hear!

I believe that God can work things out, and I totally believe that there are "seasons" in life. Usually, at least in my life, the unhealthy relationships in my just kind of fade away, but others (in this case) actually need to be cut off, which is hard. Especially because I've had so many unhealthy relationship in my life. It feels harsh, and it really makes me sad. At the same time though, I know I'm at the point where there is nothing more that I can do. So in that respect it feels "right".