Sunday, May 23, 2010

These are a few of my favorite things...

Doesn't that just make you want to break out in song?? It makes me want to throw on some PJ's
and lay on the couch and watch the entire movie!

Ok, here it goes!

Space Saver Bags:

I'm a skeptic, but I've had strangely good luck with infomercial items. The Space Saver bags did not disappoint! All of mine and Matt's winter clothes, and jackets in 2 flattened bags! I wasn't sure what to do with them since we are so limited on space, so I'm storing them in a large suitcase under our bed! I'm going to go back to Target this afternoon for some jumbo-sized bags for our warm winter bedding, and extra pillows! Did I mention that sucking all of the air out is strangely entertaining?

100 Calorie Starbucks Frappuccino:

Uh huh! This makes me happy. Not only did I not continue on my caffeine detox, but I actually increased the amount that I drink. Bad-- SOOO bad! Between my allergy meds, and starting a new job, I've needed the extra energy! Not to mention that I've lost 20lbs in a month just watching my calories(which is a miracle with thyroid issues). It does contain artificial sweeteners, which I'm not a fan of, but once I can finally get this extra weight off, I'll worry about that. For now, I'm basking in the glow of low-cal!


Lavender Serenity Downey:




If you want soft, great smelling clothes, you HAVE to try this Downey! I am pretty allergic to smelly detergents, but I haven't had a reaction to this! It smells SOOO good! Matt even likes it, and he doesn't like any strong smells. I can't really explain it, but it's fantastic!

Right now I have lots of favorites, but these are my favorite favorites by far! ;-)

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Complexity...

I want to be happy. I want to be successful at the right things. I want a life of love. I want fond memories. I want peace. I want hope. I want a joyful heart. I want a family. I want to do the right thing by others. I want to live a good life. My question is: Who doesn't? Who wouldn't want to live a good, happy life?

I know we all make choices that are against what we really do believe. We've all been hypocrites in one respect or another. However, I will never understand why people self-sabotage. Why people would intentionally wreak relationships with their loved ones. Why people seek rebellion from the right things, as if right things represent weakness. Why some people insist on making life so complicated-- not just for themselves, but for everyone in their lives. Those who live with a dangerous case of reckless abandon, and don't care what others think, or who they trample along the way. We should care about other people, and what they think to an extent-- Especially the ones that we claim to love!

It's been a long, emotional week. While things in my life have actually been seriously good, family issues keep coming up. Situations where if people cared about the feelings of others there would be no issue. It's hard to believe that some of these people thrive when things are complex, and dramatic. I like simple, straightforward, to the point-- but in a kind non-"bitchy" (for lack of a better term) way. You want me to be somewhere-- tell me. You want me to do that-- let me know what you want. I'm not a mind reader-- I have no crystal ball. I HATE HATE HATE HATE HATE dragging information out of people.

Rewind to last week. I asked a family member a question. "Would you want to go to (blank at blank on blank)?" (Matt and I had told this family member that there was a chance we would be out of town on this day, but plans changed) "" So I spent the next 20 minutes trying to get a straight answer. When I did, it turns out the person had other plans. So I not only wasted 20 minutes of my time, but the end of the reply was "If you want to come too, you'll have to call and ask so in so if it's ok.". I don't invite myself to events-- even though this was one of those family things that you typically wouldn't leave close family out of, I decided 1) If they wanted me to be there, I wouldn't have had to drag information out. and 2) It was an event with Matt's family, and he would be at work anyway, so I am perfectly fine and happy staying home. Apparently that was the WRONG choice.

Fast forward to the day of said event. As family is about to walk out the door, I in sweats, with my hair back in the middle of laundry, I am asked if I'm coming to lunch. I reply "no". When asked "why not" I reply "I wasn't invited". That's when it hit the fan. I had not planned on going, wasn't ready to go, then ended up being the bad guy because I wasn't going to an event that I wasn't invited to. Wah? They told Matt I ruined everything because I didn't go. Matt was already aware of the situation, and knew exactly what had happened, and defended me-- thankfully! I'm still not even sure how I ruined anything. I mean, if I was wanted, wouldn't the information be given to me? You don't wrap an invitation in duct tape if you want to person to be there, right? RIGHT? Just leave out all the shady crap and tell me what the freak you want!

I'd be lying if I said I didn't believe that maybe people set themselves up to be upset. This isn't the first time Matt and I have been left out. We've tried to communicate with them about it, but it always ends up a huge fight because "feelings" don't matter around here. "I feels" are met with eye rolls, and guilt tripping. After the last blow-up, we said "no more". Honestly though, leave me out-- but don't exclude Matt. It hurts him so much, and his pleas to be included are met with more of the same. It's heart-breaking. I just don't get it. Why make things so difficult? Why the strife? Why the fighting? So we're at the point where we just stop trying and start living our own life. We want joy and happiness. We want success in the right things. Dramatic crap is not part of what we want.

Monday, May 10, 2010

I cracked...

I've been trying my hardest to give up caffeine! I did so well for weeks, but today ::EPIC FAIL:: (That was for you, Sarah Y.!). Yes, I went to Starbucks on my way to the DMV, and enjoyed every single sip of my extra-hot, non-fat, vanilla latte! Mmmmm! It turned my stomach into a hot pit of sugary goodness! De-light-ful! Of course, now my heart is crazily beating out of my chest-- which is the very reason I decided to give it up in the first place. Ah. I don't regret my decision too much--I definitely needed the jump-start this morning!

Speaking of indulgence, I've been back on the diet wagon the last couple of weeks. The weight thing has been the biggest obstacle in my life, not because of how I feel about myself, but how other people feel. I've been an emotional eater since childhood. It doesn't help that if I'm not outright dieting I gain weight--so I always have to think about it. The catch 22 with emotional eating is that as soon as someone makes a comment about my weight, I want to turn to food. When you struggle with weight, it's the first weapon people use when they're upset at you. I can't even begin to describe the hurtful (often deliberately so) comments that have been aimed in my direction by my family, my in-laws, friends, people I hardly know--craziness! If nothing else, what a lack of creativity! ;-) Yesterday ended up being an emotional eating day, but I kept myself in check. I over-indulged a bit, but not too bad. Letting the crap of other people prevent me from reaching my goals is my fault. I wish I had learned this lesson years ago!

Monday, May 3, 2010

+/-

+ The perfect pair of jeans. They were $10 at Marshals, and buy far the best $10 investment I've ever made.

- Adult acne. I have more acne now then I ever did as a teen. I've tried a million different treatments and am still getting break-outs. What gives?

+ Looking forward to getting away for our anniversary. Can't believe it's been 3 years!

- Allergy season--yuck!

+ House shopping.

- HOUSE SHOPPING!!

+ Netflix for Wii-- my new favorite thing! I'm not a huge movie fan, but TV shows galore!

- TV and internet-- what a time suck! I'm sitting on the computer, but there is a great big world out there to explore.

+ Good health, great memories, and lots of love! So for the most part, +++++++++++

:-)