Friday, November 28, 2008

Missing...





I miss my family. What a way to start a blog, huh? I do though. I love the holidays! However, there is always a little feeling in the corners of my mind and heart, that wishes I could spend more time with my family. I love Matt's family, but they are so different then me, or my own family. I struggle to fit in at times, and tend to have to keep to myself a bit. That's probably normal, I'm sure. It's just magnified during the holidays. I'm just not one to beg people to see the art in me, and sometimes I just want to be able to be myself, without having to worry about what other people think. With my own (extended family, I'm not close to my mom, or sister) family, they love me and encourage me to always be who I am. I know they love me for who I am. I can keep busy, and serve them, and love them, without anyone feeling like I'm stealing their spotlight. I can share my opinion without anyone being offended. I can crack a joke, and everyone knows I'm just being snarky in a totally fun spirited way. I never have to explain myself... I miss that.


I'm blessed to have an awesome extended family. My aunt and uncle especially! They are really great people. They are both Strong, and funny, and are very into family. They are getting older though, and it scares me to think about life without them one day. They're kind of the only family I have left. They have been the only major constant family in my life. I'm the spitting image of my aunt. Mostly in personality. We both love kids, humor, Christmas, and burnt chocolate chip cookies! She's an inspiration to me! She is a breast cancer survivor, a wonderful mom, sister, daughter, aunt and friend. She would do anything for anyone. She has been the mom I never had in so many ways.


So my early new years resolution is to spend more time with them, starting with Christmas. I hope to be a constant in the lives of my two young twin cousins, and to carry on family traditions even when my family is gone. So much of who I am is because of them, and I never want to lose that.

Sunday, November 16, 2008

I figured out the cure for world hunger...





This toffee/coffee mix begins with Heath ice cream blended with coffee, Heath Bar candy pieces and caramel, topped with whipped cream and even more Heath Bar candy pieces.

Serving Size 1 Serving (32 fl.oz)
Amount Per Serving
Calories 2,310

Calories from Fat 970
% Daily Value*
Total Fat 108g 166%
Saturated Fat 64g 320%
Trans Fat 2.5g
Cholesterol 295mg 98%
Sodium 1560mg 65%
Total Carbohydrates 303g 101%
Dietary Fiber 2g 8%
Sugar 266g
Protein 35g
Vitamin A 60%
Vitamin C 15%
Calcium 120%
Iron 6%
Calories per gram:
Fat 9 Carbohydrate 4 Protein 4
*Percent Daily Value based on a 2,000 calorie diet. Your daily values may be different depending on your calorie needs.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Still not a very good blog... sorry.

Today has been an emotionally challenging day for many reasons. We've been going through a lot of family stuff, and it's all been pretty disheartening. Today, there was a victory, and I'm thankful to God for it. However, I'm going through some personal struggles of my own that I don't feel comfortable enough sharing here, and could just use some prayer. I'm thankful that I have a good husband, and many friends that support me, no matter what. Even still, I'm just feeling alone, and frustrated. So if you think of it, please just say a little prayer for me! I could sure use some right about now!

Oh, and for those following, the diet is actually going well! Even though I've been emotional, I haven't restored to turning to food for comfort, so yay!! I've even lost 2 pounds this week! Thank goodness that SOMETHING in my life is going well...lol!

Thursday, November 13, 2008

A life invisible...

Ok, I wrote an entire blog, accidentally deleted it, and then before I could figure it out, it saved that way...ugh.


So tomorrow you will get a better blog then this, I'm just too tired to re-write the whole thing...

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Water, treadmills, salad and all things "healthy"




Dieting is SO overrated! I don't see beauty in starving at all. I'm not starving, but goodness gracious am I hungry for pancakes...lol! I'm not even really a junk food eater(don't like chips, or sweets and rarely drink soda), but it seems like every time I really really try, that you could cover a brick in sugar and I'd go for it. This coming from a girl without much of a sweet tooth! Ugh!


I was writing on my blog "Treading Lightly", hoping that I could find a group of people that would go through the health/weight loss journey with me, but I had little response. I avoid telling family or friends about my efforts because I typically get a slew of bad advice, sabotages (just have ONE cookie), and thin people (that aren't very health conscious) about what I need to do. I already know what I need to do! My biggest frustration is that I'm a very slow loser, so I usually give up before I can see results. Mix that in with chronic low blood sugar, and hashimotos, a husband that could eat a brick of sugar, and a tub of butter for every meal, and never gain weight, and I feel like it's such an uphill battle.


Last night, I went to bed around 1:30am because I wanted to wait until I was so tired that I couldn't not fall asleep once I got into bed. I wrote down some healthy goals while I was awake, and I felt good about them. I won't share them publicly. I'm open, but I like my privacy (it sounds like a contraction, but it's not, I swear!). If you would like to know my goals, feel free to ask, I don't mind sharing, I just don't want random people trying to keep me accountable!


So until tomorrow, I'll be here munching on salad, drinking a ton of water, hitting the gym, and tracking my calories on http://www.calorie-count.com/


Joy!


Monday, November 10, 2008

Feeling better tonight...

I would love to spend my night snuggling a soft blanket on the couch with a book (or wii controller... I'm addicted to Paper Mario!). It seems that because I am having so much trouble sleeping, that my energy level is non-existent. I've been hitting the gym, not only to get into a better exercise routine, but also to try to tire myself out. Not working! Doesn't help that Matt has been having AWFUL asthma attacks in the middle of the night. Poor guy! Neither of us are getting any sleep! That on top of a TON of family stress, it's just been rough! And if you're not getting enough sleep, everything is harder to deal with.

So tonight, I decided to post a link about things that will help you sleep better! Some of these work for me, others, not so much, but probably work for some!
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/sleep/HQ01387

I heart the Mayo Clinic! Even though sometimes I search "nausea" and it comes back "Cancer" lol!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

You can't force people to be your friend..

Oh my life is crazy! Anyone that reads my blog probably knows that my life is anything but normal! I'm surrounded by craziness! As much as I downplay it, and make a joke about it, sometimes it really really sucks!

There are people in my life that I wouldn't trade. Some of those people would trade me in a heartbeat though. It's all so frustrating! I just want everything to be as it should be. I know people aren't perfect, and I don't expect them to be at all. I just want people to want me. That's all. Not just me, but us.

Tonight, I tried to force things around me to be "normal". I played Suzie housewife, and made dinner for everyone, and tried to make it nice. I just wanted to be a family. That just isn't possible though. You can't force people to want to be part of your family. You can't force people to love you, even though they should love you because you're family. Sometimes you just have to give up, especially of someone blatantly tells you that spending time with you isn't worth their precious time. So now I'm frustrated, and in tears, and really really angry. I'm so tired of putting myself out there, but I don't want to just leave things all broken and screwed up either.

It's nights like this that I wonder what is keeping us here. We have hardly any family to speak of. Most of the ones that are here have more important things to do then spend time together, so what is the point? We seriously need out of here!

Saturday, November 8, 2008

Feeling yucky tonight...

So I'll just leave you with this...

http://www.bizarrebids.com/

Oh the things you can auction off!!

Friday, November 7, 2008

Oh the things that make me smile!



It's about time we see some diversity! Don't you think?

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Thanksgiving...




Can you believe Thanksgiving is right around the corner? Amazing! 2008 flew by! My favorite part about Thanksgiving is of course the food! I've been busy figuring out our thanksgiving menu. No, Matt and I do not host Thanksgiving. We have ZERO space! Matt's mom has thanksgiving at her house and despises cooking and baking, so I usually plan the meal. I enjoy it!


This year will be slightly different then last year. I stopped eating meat in January. No, I'm not going to subject the guests to tofukey, and soy gravy (Though I will be preparing it for myself!) I am making some meat alternatives, but the meat will be there (I'm sure the Sciarini's reading this have breathed a huge sigh of relief!).


So I thought I would share a couple of meat free thanksgiving dishes I'm making this year!



Day Ahead
Mashed Potatoes
10 Servings
8 potatoes, peeled, cut into pieces
1 8-ounce package cream cheese
1 cup sour cream
Garlic salt
Butter, melted
One day before serving: Cook potatoes covered in large pot of boiling salted water
until tender, about 20-25 minutes. Drain potatoes and return to same pot. Add cream
cheese and sour cream and mash well. Season potatoes to taste with garlic salt and
pepper.
Butter an 8x12-inch flat casserole dish. Spoon in the potato mixture, and brush the top
well with melted butter. Cover with plastic wrap. Refrigerate.
The following day: Return the mixture to room temperature. Preheat oven to 350*F.
Bake uncovered for 30 minutes.


These potatoes are AWESOME and flavorful without using chicken broth!


Crock-pot Vegetarian Stuffing

2 cups chopped celery

2 cups chopped onion

1/4 cup chopped parsley

2 (8 ounce) cans mushrooms, drained

12 cups stale bread, cut into cubes

1 tsp poultry seasoning

1 tsp dried thyme

1 1/2 tsp sage

1/2 tsp ground black pepper

1 1/2 tsp salt

1/2 tsp dried marjoram

2 eggs, beaten

4 cups vegetable broth
In a large skillet over medium heat, melt the butter. Saute the celery, onion, parsley and mushrooms until onions are soft.
In a large bowl, combine the bread cubes and vegetables. Add the poultry seasoning, thyme, sage, pepper, salt and marjoram. Toss together well. Add egg and enough broth to moisten.
Lightly pack into crock pot; cover and cook on high for45 minutes. Reduce to low and cook for 4 to 8 hours.

Makes12 servings.


So good, and saves your space in the oven for the turkey (or tofukey!)

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Oh me, Oh my!




Oh Michelle Obama.... How dare you wear something with color in it! Don't you know you're about to become the First Lady? Ha ha!


Ok, I liked Michelle Obama's dress. Of course, I am no fashionista, but goodness, we have a new President, and this is all people can talk about!?! Give me a break!


Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Obama is the winner!





Now, most people that read my blog are Christians. I don't like to offend anyone,but I think Christians need to stop complaining about Obama, and start living like the people of faith we are suppose to be! We can cry, and whine and throw a fit about it, or we can stand thankful that we live in a free nation, thankful that God has a plan for it, and hopeful for a brighter future.

Today I don't cower, or fear the next 4 (or even 8) years. I'm excited that God has amazing plans for our nation! I'm praying for Obama, not against him! I'm praying that God would move him in the White House, I'm praying that God will help him make the right decisions, I'm praying that God would move in his marriage, and limit the stress on his family. I'm praying that God is going to do a work through him!
Will you join me in praying for our new leader? It doesn't matter how you feel about him! I'm excited to see what the next 4 years bring. Not because I'm a huge fan of Obama, but because I know God has a plan!

"My first allegiance is not to a flag, a country, or a man. my first allegiance is not to democracy or blood. It's to a King & a Kingdom" - Derek Webb "King & a Kingdom"

Monday, November 3, 2008

Remember to vote!!

If you don't vote, you can't complain... so VOTE!!

Sunday, November 2, 2008

The Sciarinis' Meet The Duggars'


I'll admit it, years ago, I saw a preview for a special about this family from Arkansas with 16 Children and thought "what are they thinking?". I was confused by the idea of having so many children, I was curious as to how they paid for it all, I wondered what it would be like for a child in such a large family, and in a way, I wanted to spend a day in there house, see what things are like without cameras (I think I still do!). Not that I thought there was anything "wrong" happening, but to see how it all worked in "real life". So I watched the show, and my curiosity turned to admiration. It was there that my respect for the Duggar family began.

Now most of you know that my family situation growing up was the exact opposite of the Duggar family. I had my mom, dad, and an older half-sister. My mom was emotionally abusive and never said a nice thing to me, my dad just sat there and watched it all happen, and my sister was really out of control. There was no protection, there was no love, and Jesus was a foreign concept. I don't know why God pulled me out of that. I don't know why he had such provision over my life. All I know is that He did, and I'm thankful for it! However, I really believe that God put this desire in my heart from a young age to have a close-nit family. That is one of the things that really drew me to the Duggars. They just seem so loving. I secretly wished my family was more like that. I bet even the harshest critics of the Duggar family have the same secret!

Anyway, fast forward to last week. I was driving by
The Home Church on my way into Stockton, and saw a sign saying the Duggars' would be speaking at their church. I was excited! Now working in radio for the past 4 years, I've met a lot of "Stars". I've never been Starstruck. People are people, and it takes a lot to impress me. But my heart did flutter a bit when I found out!

So, last night I was going to end up going alone because my poor husband had a severe headache (it's been a trend between us it recent days!). Well, a few minutes before I was going to leave, Matt was feeling better so he came with. I have some friends from that church, so I didn't feel too uncomfortable going. We got a close seat, and things got started. I must say, there are people that look totally different on TV. Not Jim Bob or Michelle Duggar! They look pleasant, and very approachable. The chuch had been accepting questions weeks before. They were asked the normal questions like "How do you find time to spend with each of your children?", and "how do you handle discipline?". It wasn't the answers that stood out to me, but the heart behind their answers. They truly love Jesus and really want the very very best for their children.

Michelle's heart impresses me. She takes her job to "train up her children" very seriously. Jim Bob impresses me in the way that he is so obviously the spiritual leader of their household. They were more then adamant in admitting that they are not perfect, and that they've had times where they had to ask forgiveness from their children. That they don't have all of the answers. That their children misbehave. Their hearts were ones of humility, and always pointing back to Jesus.

When they were finished, most people left, and there was a small group hanging around. I wanted a picture (just to add to this blog, actually!!) so we waited until they weren't overly crowed, and they proceeded to the stage. There were two young girls (probably not older then about 12) and I overheard one girl say to Jim Bob "I only want 3 or 4 kids-not 18!". I smiled at the frankness of this girl and leaned over and said "You might change your mind one day." Jim Bob jumped in and said "You should consider letting God decide the size of your family!". Then Jim Bob introduced himself to us with a friendly hello and a strong handshake. We told him that we watch the show, and he let us know about an upcoming episode about a trip to the Ken Hamm Creation Museum. We talked about how awesome it was that it was going to be played on the Discovery Channel. I mentioned that I admired his family, and asked if they new the gender of baby 18. He told me, but I'm not sure if they're doing a special about it, so I'll leave that out! Another person wanted a picture, so we moved out of the way. After that picture, we jumped in and ask if we could have one quickly too, and I mentioned I didn't want to be "That person that wants their picture taken with the Duggars', but that I wanted it for my blog." Jim Bob said "Oh you're a blogger!? I've always wanted to meet a blogger. You probably spend too much time on the computer!" (with a smile, not in a judging way at all!) I replied "You're right, I do!". However I wanted to say "Jim Bob, you have NO idea!!" Ha ha!

Then we met Mama Bear herself, Michelle! I was like "I don't know how you do it, but I admire you for it!", and mentioned that I really look up to her. Again, I was impressed by how friendly and down to earth she is! I mentioned that she needs to start an internship program at her house! She quickly mentioned that she is "still trying to figure it all out". We only talked for a few minutes, but I let with an even deeper respect then I had for them before. They are so real, and down to earth, and loving. I don't understand their critics. My life and standards are different from the Duggars'. I am still on the fence about the birth control thing (another blog for another day), we have, and watch a TV. But maybe it is all a matter of "His ways are not our ways". and that Matt and I need to examine our hearts and God's word to find out exactly what we believe about those things. In the end though, if we decide that we are in God's will now, then I'll still have a tremendous amount of respect for this family.

They are doing another session tonight, and I'm eager to here their life story. So tomorrow, I'll post blog "The Duggars', Night 2". I'm excited!

my new Starbucks fave!




Have you tried the new Salted Caramel Hot Chocolate? Amazing! Seriously! Of course it is not for the faint of heart (or those who are dieting! Calorie city!!). It's a perfect blend of salty and sweet! And for Cold, rainy days in Ca (Or anywhere) like today!
It makes my heart (and tummy) smile!

Saturday, November 1, 2008

30 and flirty and thriving!

Today is the first day of nablopomo's 30 Days of Blogging!

What is 30 days of blogging? (Taken from the site)

"The name NaBloPoMo is derived from NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, where participants try to write an entire novel in one month. We're here because we can't commit to an endeavor of such magnitude, but we can post on our blogs every day for a month! Weekends included."

So yay!! I'm excited, yet somewhat scared of such a commitment! I think it will be fun, and I hope you will commit to blogging for 30 days too!!

Make sure you sign up!