Oh my life is crazy! Anyone that reads my blog probably knows that my life is anything but normal! I'm surrounded by craziness! As much as I downplay it, and make a joke about it, sometimes it really really sucks!
There are people in my life that I wouldn't trade. Some of those people would trade me in a heartbeat though. It's all so frustrating! I just want everything to be as it should be. I know people aren't perfect, and I don't expect them to be at all. I just want people to want me. That's all. Not just me, but us.
Tonight, I tried to force things around me to be "normal". I played Suzie housewife, and made dinner for everyone, and tried to make it nice. I just wanted to be a family. That just isn't possible though. You can't force people to want to be part of your family. You can't force people to love you, even though they should love you because you're family. Sometimes you just have to give up, especially of someone blatantly tells you that spending time with you isn't worth their precious time. So now I'm frustrated, and in tears, and really really angry. I'm so tired of putting myself out there, but I don't want to just leave things all broken and screwed up either.
It's nights like this that I wonder what is keeping us here. We have hardly any family to speak of. Most of the ones that are here have more important things to do then spend time together, so what is the point? We seriously need out of here!
3 comments:
Come to Duluth! The winters are...lovely. :)
New York is a lovely place too!! You can join my family anytime (even though sometimes I do complain on my blog they really are nice).
Come to Tennessee!!! Your always welcome with us. Love you!
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