Friday, May 16, 2008

Sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays'!

Have you seen office space? If so you'll get the headline to this blog!

I do have a case of the Mondays' today. Yes, I realize it's Friday! I'm not unhappy, just a little bit stressed. Maybe it's the bowl of grape nuts I had for breakfast, or that I just made a host of doctors appointments, which always freaks me out. I hate despise going to the doctor. There are many reasons why, let me list them for you.

1. I haven't been the my endocrinologist in 6 months and I'm going to get yelled at.

2. Drilling for oil Drawing blood from me is always a huge ordeal and I always get the phlebotomist from hell, that doesn't know how to drill draw from a person with non-existent veins.

3. I know that I'm going to be put back on thyroid drugs, which I've been trying to avoid.

4. Also, I know that I'm going to fail my iron test, so they're going to tell me to eat more meat (that is not happening) and then I'm going to get a prescription for iron supplements that make me feel super sick all the time. Can't help that though, my legs are so bruised up from my anemia that I think people wonder if I've been beaten.

So there are my reasons! I don't want to go. I.Do.Not.Want.To.Go!!

Other then that, I feel like there is so much stuff I want to do. I want to do everything. I want to be good at everything. The fact that I'm not always leaves me feeling like I've failed. Not that I don't think I'm not good at anything. Just that I know people that are so motivated to do everything, and they do it. I almost feel like I missed the boat on my potential. It's silly, I know.

I also feel like I know so many people that do awesome things for God. I just don't feel like I'm there yet. While I love God and have a close relationship with him, I don't feel on fire. I used to. I used to love to serve, and want to be involved in everything, and wanted so badly to show the love of Christ to people. I'm so burned out now. I just want that feeling of joyous servent-hood back. Maybe in time I suppose. I just need a kick-start. Hopefully when we find a new church where I can be excited about ministry, instead of dreading it.

Well, I'm off to work on my b-day cake project for a party for a friends son tomorrow. I love baking. It de-stresses me. Hopefully the cake turns out well!! :-)


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