Monday, September 22, 2008

Celebrating life while mourning a death...

Yesterday was rough! Just as Matt and I were waking up and getting ready to head to Lodi Lake to set up my birthday BBQ lunch, we got a phone call everyone dreads- Matt's uncle had died in a serious motorcycle accident It was an unbelievable shock!I immediately told Matt that we would cancel the party and head to his parents house, but Matt said we should have the BBQ anyway. I was quite hesitent, but Matt insisted. I knew it would be a tough day for everyone.

While the party was nice, there was that constant lingering feeling of sadness and confusion. How do you openly celebrate life when you're in the throws of mourning a death? I sadly have too much experience with this- My aunt died of breast cancer on my 6th birthday, and every year after at any birthday gathering, someone mentions how many years to the day it's been since aunt Sylvia died.

I never know how to act around people when it comes to death. I lost 8 close family members before my 10th birthday, and 11 (including my dad)by my 25th. Death has become such a part of my life that I think it's become harder for me to be comforting to others. Not that I'm not sad and sympathetic towards people that have lost someone, just that I don't know what to say anymore. I've heard all of the awful things that can be said to someone in mourning. I stick to "I'm so sorry" and I ask what I can do to help, but I will never tell someone how it was God's plan or any of that. It's easy enough to blame God when you're hurting without other people telling you to blame God.

All I can say this time, is that I didn't know uncle Eddie well, but I knew he was so greatly in love with, and dedicated to his family! Everyone seemed to have such a huge amount of respect for him, and he will be greatly missed by the entire Sciarini clan! My heart hurts for his wife and children especially, because I know they feel like they've lost the rock of their family. May God take care of them in unimaginable ways!

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