Hunting.

I've been so hesitant to do this. We have to find a new Church. It's been a rough few years church-wise, and we've been avoiding what we've needed to do for those few years. After being hurt the way Matt and I were hurt, many people have asked why we would continue to go somewhere where that happened. I became a Christian there. I grew in my walk with God, was mentored, served with all my heart there. I fell in love with Jesus there. I thought taking a break would heal things, but it didn't. I don't have any regrets. I stood up for the right thing, and was pummeled in the process. As hard as it is to say, if I were faced with the same situation again, I wouldn't have handled it any differently. It was when people that I really cared about didn't give me the benefit of the doubt that I cracked. I haven't gotten over that.

So, in thinking and praying about it, I realized that my relationship with my Church is no longer healthy. Not because it's an unhealthy Church--It has it's issues like any other place. But because it has only served recently to make me feel bad, to make me feel resentful towards the people involved in the whole mess. I feel rejected, and hurt, and I can't get over it. The last time I went was in December, and I left mid-service a hysterical mess. Not good! I need to go somewhere I can serve wholeheartedly. You would think with all of the Christians I know, all of the Pastors, and leaders, that it would be easy to find someplace new. Sadly, it's not at all the case.

This is something we need to do. To find a "home". A home that is healthy for us. It's going to be rough, but I'm excited at the prospect of going to Church again. I miss it.