I didn't sleep last night. Oh how I was hoping that the 3 consecutive nights of great sleep marked the end of my troubles. Sadly, they didn't. A few of my friends have had issues with insomnia. To be honest, while I've always struggled with nightmares, I never took them all that seriously. I had preconceived notions about what they were doing to cause their sleep problems. Now I feel quite foolish for thinking that way. Like I've mentioned before, my issue is with anxiety. I can't seem to shut it off. It's so frustrating.
In better news, I'm excited to be going out for a girl's night tonight! First to BJ's for dinner, and then to "Barcode" a place to dance in Sacramento. I'm really looking forward to it! Depending on who I'm with, I tend to have more control over any social anxiety. Like tonight I'm going out with Jenny. She's the best! I just feel really comfortable with her, so even though my normal security blanket (Matt) won't be there, I know Jenny understands me, and doesn't think I'm (really) crazy :-)
I've been able to spend some time alone as of recent, and that has seemed to recharge me quite a bit. While on occasion I do get kind of lonely, most of the time I have this insatiable need to have silence. It allows me to have quiet time, and to reflect. It gives me time to be a better wife, and a better friend. While sometimes it's hard to make time for myself, I can usually manage enough to get me through the day. Even if it's just spending 5 extra minutes in the shower to plan out my day, and to really relax. Sometimes I feel really guilty because with this lack of sleep, I'm not functioning at 100% (I'm usually wiped out by 8pm) and at the end of the day there are often things left undone. I also feel like I really need that few extra minutes to myself each day in order to deal with normal life stresses. I've always felt like God has put roadblocks in my path to slow me down. Maybe this sleep issue is one of those times? Who knows!
2 comments:
Hey Girl...I know a massage therapist who says, "You gotta take care of yourself in order to take care of others." I like it. Also, she gave me a massage before I went on this big trip...I hadn't been sleeping cause of stress. It helped me. Just thought I'd pass it along.
People always tell me that, but to me massages hurt, which makes me realy tense, which defeats the purpose of getting one in the first place. Maybe I need to find someone that is extra mild. I'll look into it for sure! :-)
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