I can't believe it, but Thursday will be the 6th anniversary of my dad's death. Every year it seems to sneak up on me. Grief is such an interesting thing. Some days I don't think about it, other days I do and I'm sad. Sometimes I have dreams about him that are so real. Sometimes I forget things about him. On occasion I wish I could have another day. This year, I've just felt numb. After my dad died, my family fell apart even more so then it was before. I didn't just lose my dad, I lost my entire family. Sometimes I wonder if I mourn that more so then the loss of my dad.
I've noticed the past few days that I've been a little depressed. Last night I laid in Matt's lap and just cried. I have an awesome husband that doesn't always try to "fix" me when I'm having a tough time. Instead, he just held me and told me that it's okay. After a few minutes I was fine and laughing again, but I predict that Thursday will be a tough day. I'm ready for it. I'm not planning anything really big for the day, just going to relax. Matt will be at work, which scares me. Being alone with my feelings is scary, but I'm not too worried.
So all in all, I'm feeling okay. Hopefully this cry-at-the-drop-of-a-hat thing will be over by the end of the week, and I can look forward to better days.