Monday, July 14, 2008

seaside spiritual highs, and daily life lows.


Last week, Matt and I decided to take a little over-night trip to Santa Cruz. We took Jasmine, and Scout with us. We really had a great time! At one point, I was sitting on the beach, and Matt, Jasmine, and Scout were all playing in the ocean. I couldn't help but to forget all of the issues and problems in my life. I know I'm not the only one to feel close to God in those little moments, but I felt like God took away all of my worries, all the stress, and just allowed me to enjoy him and all of his creation in that little moment. As I sat back and silently witnessed Matt, Jasmine and Scout play in the waves, I felt God tell me to be happy with my family, Because they are my family. I needed that reassurance. Most of the people I'm around are so negative (which I struggle with at times as well) so that little bit of encouragement was enough to "turn my frown up-side-down" ha ha!

Life thoughts have been racing through my brain all weekend. We picked up this sweet puppy while driving down West Lane Thursday night on our way back from the beach. No chip, no collar or tags... nothing. We ended up taking her home.She's a pit bull/lab mix. We call her "Lanie West" (naming her after West Lane...ha ha) My heart bleeds for for animals. Of course, my heart bleeds for people too, but animals have always had a special place in my heart. Of course, because she is a Pit bull, no one will take her. So sad! She is a sweetheart! She is laying at my feet right now and I'm struggling to hold back the tears welling up. Maybe I'm just being over-emotional, but I'm so worried that even if I do find a shelter, that she'll end up either being put to sleep, or being adopted to someone that will mistreat her. It's just not fair. It really, really isn't. Not to mention, it's hard when you're trying to do the right thing, and people around you are so discouraging.

I feel like the two reasons I became a vegetarian are 1) Because meat is filled with awful hormones and things that aren't healthy for us. and 2) Because the conditions that animals are kept in and the way they are treated is deplorable and by eating meat, I'm supporting their efforts. How can I just take her somewhere to be put to death, without being a hypocrite? I can't! UGH!

So, tomorrow I have an appointment at Animal Friends Connection in Lodi. I know that when she finally gets adopted, I will cry my eyes out, but I know it's for the best! Though the other day, when she and Matt were taking a nap together, I wasn't sure if I should think it was sweet, or not look because I know I'm getting attached! Matt loves her and wants her, but again, we cannot have another dog. Honestly. Things are about to get harder as Scout us having his "boy surgery" tomorrow, so he can't play for 10 days, which means we have to keep them separated. Oy Vey!

So if you would like to, I really need some prayer. I've just been having really awful panic attacks and things as of recent, and with all this going on, I know that I'm going to struggle through the next 2 weeks. I need some real rest. I'm so close to calling my doctor for something to help me sleep, but I'm so nervous to take anything. So I ask you for prayer, and if the next two week go the way I'm thinking they might, I may be asking for a gun!

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