Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Calm yourself...

I'm a huge scaredy cat. I always have been. Anxiety runs so high with me daily, an it is a struggle most of the time to not let it affect my life. You might be saying "Aren't their drugs for that?" and yes, yes their are, but I'm trying to live my life and depend on and trust God more, and I'm so scared that anti-anxiety meds will make me someone I'm not. Maybe that's stupid, but to be honest, I'm not sure what the right answer is.

One thing I have noticed, is starting a new exercise routine has helped. I think it burns off some of the extra energy that would normally be used for a panic attack. though I'm no doctor, and I could be way off base.

I'm learning to trust God more though. I'm learning that the reason I feel so out of control, is because I am. I am not in control of what happens. I think instead of working on being more in control, I need to work on being comfortable with the fact that my life is not my own. It's a really really scary thought, but it's the truth. I can spend my time worried sick, or I can enjoy my life to the fullest while I'm here. You only live once right (not counting eternal life of course) so I want to drink from the fire hose. Really.

Well, I'm going to take the dog for a nice, long walk. It will be good!


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