Missing...

I miss my family. What a way to start a blog, huh? I do though. I love the holidays! However, there is always a little feeling in the corners of my mind and heart, that wishes I could spend more time with my family. I love Matt's family, but they are so different then me, or my own family. I struggle to fit in at times, and tend to have to keep to myself a bit. That's probably normal, I'm sure. It's just magnified during the holidays. I'm just not one to beg people to see the art in me, and sometimes I just want to be able to be myself, without having to worry about what other people think. With my own (extended family, I'm not close to my mom, or sister) family, they love me and encourage me to always be who I am. I know they love me for who I am. I can keep busy, and serve them, and love them, without anyone feeling like I'm stealing their spotlight. I can share my opinion without anyone being offended. I can crack a joke, and everyone knows I'm just being snarky in a totally fun spirited way. I never have to explain myself... I miss that.

I'm blessed to have an awesome extended family. My aunt and uncle especially! They are really great people. They are both Strong, and funny, and are very into family. They are getting older though, and it scares me to think about life without them one day. They're kind of the only family I have left. They have been the only major constant family in my life. I'm the spitting image of my aunt. Mostly in personality. We both love kids, humor, Christmas, and burnt chocolate chip cookies! She's an inspiration to me! She is a breast cancer survivor, a wonderful mom, sister, daughter, aunt and friend. She would do anything for anyone. She has been the mom I never had in so many ways.

So my early new years resolution is to spend more time with them, starting with Christmas. I hope to be a constant in the lives of my two young twin cousins, and to carry on family traditions even when my family is gone. So much of who I am is because of them, and I never want to lose that.