Sunday, October 3, 2010

Insecurities and blogging.

I loved writing here when I thought no one really read my thoughts, and now that I know people do, I feel so insecure. I know that is kind of strange. The whole point of a blog is making your thoughts public. Right? So forgive me if it seems I'm neglecting my blog. I'll be back in full force eventually. Hopefully. As soon as I can work out this monster that lives in my head telling me I'll never be good enough.

My entire life I've been surrounded by hyper-critical people. I've been told I'm not good enough, that I'm stupid, that I'm not pretty enough, that I can't do anything right, and have had my reasons for being "me" questioned. As much as I wish I could say that knowing God, and what he thinks of me, and that he made me exactly who I am would fix this. I'm still a broken person.

I'm going through things I wish I could share. That I wish I could be honest about, but because I fear judgement, and fear the things that will be said, I won't. Maybe one day I'll be completely honest. For now, I just need to figure out how to be me without worrying what other people think.