Reaching out...

A few weeks ago, I heard good news about some people we used to be close to. We haven't spoken to them in awhile. To be honest, things were a bit tense the last time we did see each-other, though I'm not quite sure why. I wanted to congratulate them on their "good news", so I sent a little email. No response. I wasn't really waiting for a response, more that I just happened to remember that I sent an email, and then happened to notice they never wrote back. That's when the feelings of rejection started to creep up.

Sarah today is a much different girl then Sarah 5 years ago. I'm much more secure in myself. I'm not really afraid to share my opinion, or disagree if I think something is wrong. Not in an "in your face" sort of way, but I don't just nod and smile anymore. I'd love to be able to say that my insecurities about being rejected are gone. Obviously this situation proves that I still have those insecure feelings inkling somewhere inside.

As for the relationship, not sure where to go from here. It's always really sad when good relationships go bad, especially when you can't quite put your finger on why. I am, however, genuinely happy for them.

Friends (not so) forever.

I've been in a state of mourning some of my friends for quite some time now. I've sort of given up on some people. I know that sounds awful, but I can't help but feel that way. For one, I suck at keeping in touch with people. I always feel like I'm bothing people if I call. Maybe that's silly, but I have a complex about being a bother to anyone. Especially if I know they're busy!
Then there are those friends that I call to talk to, or try to IM or e-mail or whatever that lets me know for sure that (they think) their life in more busy/important then mine and they they don't have time to speak with me or to hang out. Even life-long friends who I thought would always be there. People who pretend to be interested but only if you come to visit them, or call them first. News flash, not to be mean, but I have a life too! I've kind of stopped making effort with those people.

It's sad. Especially with people I've been friends with for years and years and years. But I guess if someone makes it clear to you that they are no longer wanting your friendship, then what can you do? It doesn't make it less sad or less hurtful, but it does make it eaiser to say "goodbye".

Matt and I have 3 GOOD friends. We know they care about us, so it works. We just wish the others would make some effort too...