These Lines On The Road

 The last few weeks I've been having lots of conversations with people. I'm starting to feel human more like myself, and I'm glad. I'm a conversationalist by nature, but tend to be more reclusive and quiet when I'm feeling anxious. It's felt nice to have real connection with people again. I was starting to miss that.

 One of my favorite things about trials is their ability to weed-out bad relationships. I feel like I always have all of these people that are my "best friend" when I'm needed. Of course, part of being friends is leaning on one another, and I'm more than okay with that. It's the lack of reciprocity that I've always been frustrated with. It makes me incredibly thankful for the people in my life that pray for me, encourage me, extend to me an extra measure of grace, and make me laugh. It's a huge blessing!

I've always been so worried about what people think about me. I have people in my life that silently judge me, and question my intentions. People that don't make effort to really know me because they think they already know me. It used to bother me. I used to try to bend over backwards trying to prove myself. Going through this made me feel like I'm growing out of that. Frankly, I don't feel the need to justify myself. Especially to people that I don't have a real relationship with. It's so liberating! I can invest in the relationships that are truly important in my life, and let the others be what they are.

The thing I'm most thankful for this year is ebb and flow. For the times that bring great delight, and the trials that bring reflection and growth. While my last few months have been the later, I'm truly thankful that I'm even here to experience it. Blessings in disguise are sometimes the best blessing of them all.


Whatever may come, and whatever may go, that river's flowing, that river's flowing.