Summer...

I sat in the sun today. The temperature was much hotter then what I'm usually comfortable with, but today that didn't stop me. I wanted to feel it on my face. I wanted to soak in each ray one by one. I often take these simple pleasures of life for granted. The ability to sit and just relax knowing I'm doing alright. Life is good. I don't want to just "get through" the stages--I want to live them out, feel them, enjoy being human, enjoy being myself. I've been rekindling my love for simplicity the past few months. I got a little caught up in life's chaos for a bit. I'm thankful that I did though. Sometimes I need that to make me that much more thankful for the simple. Simple is just part of who I am. What makes me Sarah.

Oh the time I've spent trying to be someone else. Someone that I'm not. It always caused so much confusion in me. Coming to grips with the fact that I can't choose who I am. I'm never going to like Jazz clubs, or foreign films. I'm not ever going to love roller coasters. I'm not going to be happy as a teacher. I suck at math, and have to use spell check liberally. I don't enjoy reading fiction. I play tetris during church. I sing along with every song on the radio. I prefer a bath to a shower any day. If I buy low-fat ice cream, I eat two servings. I love the rain. I'm super-sensitive in good ways and bad ways. I like watching mindless tv. I love to get my hands dirty. I google 100 times a day. I crave knowledge. I can be messy. I like doing things for people. I like to create things. That is who I am. Instead of fighting it, I'm learning to be it. To accept both my strengths and my faults. The beautiful thing about it is that it's helping me allow others to be themselves. I never thought I'd be content just being me. Not only am I feeling content, but I don't think I'd want to be anyone else.

:-)