There's not a whole lot of privacy when it comes to Blogging. Or Facebook, or pretty much any other social networking hoopla. They are all geared to get people to "share". I'm all for sharing. In fact, I think if more of us would share, less of us would be afraid to be honest. With that being said, there are things I don't share. Things that I have no problem keeping to myself. They aren't things I really want to talk to people about. I mean, I don't really have any deep dark secrets. There are things that I guess I just keep to myself. Mostly because of my own feelings of inadequacy, or brokenness, or not wanting advice, or to be the subject of speculation. Sometimes because I am just a private person, as much as I might seem outgoing, and talkative, I like my privacy... a lot. Sometimes I don't talk to people about things because I don't want to be asked about it later, and I don't want people to feel pity towards me, or think about what I told them later. I don't know. Some things seem better left unsaid-- I think.
Part of it is that I just don't want constant reminders of the things I lack, and I've been reminded over and over and over the last few weeks. Maybe it's selfish of me to not share over that. It's funny that things you want can be so close for everyone (or seemingly close) but so out of reach for you. Sometimes that just feels like the story of my life, Like things are just out of reach. It can be painful, but I try to see that God has a plan for everything-- every single thing. I'm not one to really question God, or his plan in my life, but sometimes I just don't see what I think I'm suppose to see to "get it". So I guess for now the things I am not understanding, and not feeling comfortable enough to share, are going to remain between Jesus and I, oh, and Matt too-- I tell him everything. It's a good thing! :-)